The Middle of the Road

Neil Young once spoke thoughtfully about the perils of the mainstream: “Heart of Gold put me in the middle of the road. Travelling there soon became a bore so I headed for the ditch.” . It's a good album but the ditch has some good songs too and so I fear for the future of Steven Gerrard, hardworking footballer, not so much because of his arrest for assault but because of the rather fearful rumours about his tastes in music and the possibility that these may have led to argy bargy. Of greater concern may be the prevailing and continued influence of lounge music, also known as AOR, upon a new generation of the innocent and unsuspecting young wealthy...

Steven is one of those young men who see nothing wrong in wearing a blue cashmere jumper and white shirt after hours and this should surely have alerted fellow drinkers that worse was to follow. It's always been the smart ones who are trouble! Rumours are like chips, plentiful and needing a pinch of salt, but if it is true that he is a fan of Phil Collins, what tunes I wonder did he urge the stricken DJ to spin? Something from Buster perhaps or No Jacket Required. "Coming in the air tonight" would be too cruel even for such an obvious scally.